"…empathy is ethically problematic because, as with all highly emotional responses, it is easy for others to manipulate. Empathy also tends to be disproportionate to the situation (we feel more empathy for people we know or see directly), and does not scale up (it is impossible to feel empathy for anonymous thousands or even millions of people, regardless of how deserving they are). By contrast, sympathy is informed by reason and is therefore more wide ranging. We can sympathize even with people we do not know, or whose specific situation we have never experienced, because we are able to recognize that similar situations would be distressing for us, and that it would be unjust both for us and for anyone else to have to suffer through them.
In a sense, then, what Epictetus is observing is that in the normal course of events we tend to self-empathize ("Alas! Miserable am I.") while we sympathize with others ("Such is the lot of man."). The difference stems from our capability for more balanced judgment when the event does not touch us directly. Attempting to rectify this imbalance does not make us callous; it simply makes us more reasonable.
Reminding ourselves that difficult things happen—and not just to us—is comforting. We can start developing equanimity with respect to the things we don't fully control. Likewise, we can be grateful when things go our way but not become too attached to them, as they can just as easily be taken away. And when tough things happen, we are able to find the courage to face them in the best way possible, because such is the human condition."
Massimo Pigliucci
https://open.substack.com/pub/figsinwinter/p/practice-like-a-stoic-3-take-an-outside?r=35ogp&utm_medium=ios
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