Jean-Paul Sartre would remind me that I don't HAVE to. I don't even have to go. Things don't have to be the way they are. Thanks, J-P. Not helpful.
Albert Camus would say it's a trivial and absurd concern, compared to the great question whether life is worth living. Again, not helpful.
Bertrand Russell would tell me to turn my attention to other things, for now. Slightly more helpful.
A.J. Ayer would suggest that we reason together like civilized men, to solve the problem. (As he proposed to Mike Tyson.)
Simone de Beauvoir might say that dry posters are a social construct, but being a woman (if that's sexist I'm sorry, but in my experience it's true) I'll bet she'd actually offer a helpful, practical suggestion like wrapping it in a plastic bag.
Or, after learning about computers and the Internet, she might suggest just doing it digitally.
UPDATE, 10 a.m. Made it.
Lotsa competition: Harry Potter's England, The British Roots of Rock & Roll, Astronomy at Stonehenge...
And if I keep staring from my table at Dunkin Donuts across the way, I'm gonna get hungry.